Tears. All these tears. I have no idea what happened, what is happening, why whatever is happening is happening. Why? And how? Failure seems to be the reoccuring theme.
I know none of it is as bad as I make it out to be but it still feels like it is. All I want to do is run away from it all. Go back in time, magically be motivated, focused, happy, content with myself and my life again. I know it’s all up to me. I did great because I knew I’d do great. I felt great because I told myself I was great. Now I don’t feel so great and I keep telling myself, reminding myself how seriously messed up it is that I’ve just voluntarily let it all turn into piles and piles of shit. Just like that.
Where do I even start?